Author Archives: Leslie Vorndran

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About Leslie Vorndran

Join me as we explore all facets of this joy-filled life!

Follow Through

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People might call me a lot of things, but “athletic” is not one of them. Yet, somehow I got snared into playing softball for many years of my youth. I was pretty horrible at the sport since I could never master that hand-eye coordination bit. During many games and practices, I heard my dad holler from the sidelines, “Follow through. Follow through the ball when you swing!” I just wanted to make a hit, let alone keep swinging!

Then there was golf. What a mess I was! In retrospect, I feel bad for my father. His wife and first two daughters joined him in the game from time to time. But there I was … defective. “Follow through. Follow through the ball when you swing!” If I followed through anymore, I could have dug to China for all the grass I scooped on my swings. But that blasted ball just sat on its perch, taunting me.

Learning to follow through turned out to remain an elusive lesson for me in life, as well as sports. As I neared the end of my college career, rather than firm up relationships for the long haul of life, I pulled away from the friends on whom I had depended for so long. Saying goodbye was hard enough; I suppose my subconscious tried to protect me from the impact. A couple years later, I packed up my belongings as I left behind my New York City apartment and roommate. But in an effort to steel myself for the departure, for weeks prior to my move I had closed myself off to the city and friend I so dearly loved. I quit early on the relationships and experiences because I was unable to follow through.

It took many years for me to recognize and address this personality flaw in myself. I caught on in time to follow through at the last job I held before my second child was born. I prepared myself to walk away from my career with a sense of pride and accomplishment, knowing I had done all I could do. It felt great … my personal home run!

Right now, I’m once again having trouble following through on life. I am so ready to be in Honduras, I’m not focused on the present. I find myself immersed in projects for the trip, rather than interacting with my children. Knowing I’ll be gone for almost two weeks, I should be planning and preparing freezer meals for my family, but I have not even committed to filling our refrigerator now or making meals for us to eat this week. I should be folding my children’s laundry so they have fresh clothes to wear, rather than worrying over what I will pack for the trip. I’m riding along, thinking about being there, so ready to get to the next place.

If I give my attention to now and neglect the thought of leaving, I won’t be ready when the time comes. How does one strike a balance between being present and being prepared to move on? How does one make contact with the target while pushing the momentum far past the field of vision? Suggestions welcome. In the meantime, my wrinkled family will eat cereal for dinner, again… (I’m exaggerating. Sort of.)

For All the Hope in the World

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I pray over my children all the time. Sometimes verbally and quite deliberately, other times just by breathing. Every time my daughters enter a new space or leave me, I look into their eyes and think, “God, please let them bless others and be safe.” I’m not alone in this. You do it too, don’t you? All of my friends pray for their kids, of this I’m sure. Mothers around the world pray for their children, whether it’s to the God of Israel, Allah, Buddha, or the universe. We pray from our deepest souls because our children are our hearts.

Today is September 11, more than a decade after attacks on United States forever altered our way of thinking. People who carried out the attacks are known to us as terrorist, monsters, cowards. Their use of violence, death, and destruction to make a point was a low point for humanity. We don’t want to see images of their faces or even hear their names. They represent to us all that is evil.

But on days like today I can’t help but think of their mothers. People who carry out deeds of hatred, like the 9/11 attacks, the massacre at Virginia Tech, the Cleveland kidnappings were once children. Children with mothers who loved them, hoped the best for them. How these women’s hearts must be broken!

I cannot ask you to forgive the deeds. If you’re able to forgive to doers, that’s between you and God. But, I encourage you… Pray for the mothers. Our sisters in motherhood. Women who, by and large, did what they could to raise compassionate, responsible, caring adults. Somewhere, something went awry. The children made choices that would ruin their own lives and kill others. Perhaps the mothers themselves failed their children. One cannot fathom the burden of guilt they are left to carry.

If we believe God is the God of forgiveness, that He sent His Son to die in our place, that He is able to redeem even at the moment of death, we can pray for these women. May they find in their hearts a yearning to seek God’s face. May they be filled with His peace. May they fall on their knees in reverence to the One who can banish that guilt and bring their hearts home to Him.

“We will never forget.” Never forget the cowardess and hatred that spawned these acts. Never forget the heroism that saved hundreds. Never forget the sacrifice of many in the name of rescue. Never forget the patriotism and pride in our nation and unity. Never forget the forgiveness given to us that we may forgive others.

Bouquet of Sharpened Pencils

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New school supplies … we all love them! Freshly sharpened pencils, crisp white paper, erasers, and notebooks that hold the promise of learning and discovery. New clothes, shoes a half size too large, even new packs of socks and undies send children to school feeling confident, loved, and ready to tackle the world. What’s not to love?

We wouldn’t think of having kids show up in worn-out clothes, deny them enough supplies or toys to get through the day, let alone the year, or make them wear dingy old undies and socks. But that’s how children around the world face each school day. Their needs are many, but their expectations are few.

Over the next two weeks, I’ll be collecting items to bring the children at the Heart to Heart Children’s Village. I will hunt down the last Back to School sales and stock up for these kids who are striving for success, just as my own daughter is. Sadly, their metric has been set so much lower. If you’d like to raise that bar and send items to the kids, please let me know. I’ll reserve space in my suitcase!**

Items needed:
underwear—size 2 year olds to 18 year olds
socks, white
sandals and flip flops
plain black leather school shoes–age 4-18
school supplies—erasers, black pens
kitchen utensils, big wooden spoons, dish cloths, sponges,
hand towels
bath towels
play clothes
backpacks
frizbes
Toys and balls
Bubbles
Small items as reward for the merit system in place: hair ties, colored pens, markers, cool erasers, hot wheel cars, hair bands, dollar store items etc.

* Amazon users: If you use this link to make purchases at Amazon.com, H2H will receive a portion of the profits. Your Amazon experience will remain the same, but you’ll help the kids along the way. Bookmark it.

** Feel free to use Amazon or another site with free shipping and send items directly to me. Just be sure the package arrives by Tuesday so I have time to pack it!

We (He) did it!

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We did it!! With the generous commitment of some amazing friends and family, we raised every single dollar for my trip to Honduras!!

Deposit $200 Paid
Flight $540 Paid
Participation $950 Paid
Immunizations $300 Paid

Well, by “we” I really mean He. Because, as excited as I am about ME having the courage to go and YOU offering your love, support, and prayers, none of this – not one tiny molecule of an idea of this – would be possible without God setting the stage, choosing the participants, and making it happen.

A huge THANK YOU to every who contributed, both prayerfully and financially. It has been a treat to hear from friends far and wide, offering loving support and sharing how this opportunity is blessing them as well. I can’t wait to see the next step in this adventure!

Send Me a Life

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I admit it. I got sucked into the current popular online game of choice. Divine! But, you probably already knew that; half the people I know are connected to me via social networking. Sweet!

At first, I allowed my daughter to download the game after I dragged her to a ladies jewelry party. A college-aged friend of mine showed it to her and well, I caved for the sake of “Can we go yet?” Then I decided to see what the fuss was all about. Now I am hopelessly stuck on Level 79. Might as well be Level 666 for all the fun I’m having trying to beat it. And for what? So I can move on to Level 80? Woo.Hoo.

As my husband tried, unsuccessfully, to have a conversation with me this evening, I lamented about having too much to do. When he left the room to watch football alone, I decided to spend “just a minute” playing the game. An hour later…

A notification popped on the screen during the game; a friend “sent a life.” Whew, that would keep me going another round or two. But wait. She sent me a life? What about the life I’m living? What am I doing with it? Sitting on the couch, staring at a screen, accomplishing … nothing. Sure, it’s entertaining. But is it productive? Does it get me closer to the goals I have for myself? Does it build, mend, or reinforce any of the relationships that mean so much to me?

All this swapping lives back and forth in the game, does that really connect us? Several of the friends with whom I’m connected online are folks I’ve been trying to visit in person, but we have been too busy to schedule time together. Busy. Stacking candy and waiting for our lives to be refreshed. Hmmm. Maybe we need to look at this differently.

Much to my daughter’s chagrin, I believe it’s time to delete the game from my device, to look at what I really want to accomplish this day, and to give myself a life. A real life of living.

Now that’s Divine!

Edited to say: This isn’t just about the silly game. It’s about Wasters. Those things that waste my time, my energy, my life. Sure, I will delete the game, the Waster du jour, but in my boredom and weakness, I’ll eventually find another. Here’s to deleting the Wasters and saving life for living!

Names, Relevance, and Celebrity Status

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My oldest daughter loves her name. And with good reason. It is also my mother’s name. A lady who plants miniature gardens for fairies, exudes the love of God in every breath, and goes by the self-proclaimed nickname “The Present Lady.” Yep, around here, it’s good to be a Meredith.

Coincidentally, our daughter’s kindergarten teacher also shares the same name. With long beautiful hair, a radiant smile, and overflowing joy that finds her skipping through fields with her class, this teacher wove her love into our hearts. At the end of the school year, she promised my daughter they could get together during the summer. A promise of which my daughter has sternly reminded me.

Tonight’s the night. Mrs. C and her husband are coming for dinner. My Meredith suggested the teacher might not want to wear her “dressy dressy dressy dressiest clothes” because they could impede her ability to get on the floor and play. My daughter is also hoping the teacher will suddenly remember she needs to go to the grocery store, invite my daughter to go along, then keep driving a few more miles directly to the school playground where they will play games together. These comments, along with a hundred other this week, let me know how firmly our daughter planted this teacher on a pedestal. She is nothing short of a celebrity.

Those who know me well know I have very little patience or respect for superstar celebrities and the attention they garner. I don’t care about red carpets, who is dating whom, or what restaurants someone favors. The money spent to style, promote, and entertain people based on their social status frustrates me, particularly in a world where children are uneducated and starving. Show me a person who is making a difference in the world, a real “celebrity,” and I’ll give them my respect. Mrs. C is doing just that: teaching, nurturing, and loving our children. She taught my daughter grace, respect, and kindness. She has worked with schools in Africa, coaches fourth-grade girls track, and is married to a fireman. This woman certainly didn’t sign up to be a celebrity! But through her own goodness, she is relevant.

According to Nobel Prize winner, Paul Krugman, being a relevant writer takes salesmanship. Unless one is powerful or famous, simply being interesting will not to encourage readers. Fine. Probably good advice. (If you’ve read this far, you’re either doing so out of kindness or boredom. Obviously, I’m no salesperson.) This article was sent to me at a time I was already questioning my own relevance: as one person wanting to change the world for good, as the only daughter of three who doesn’t live close enough to help if our parents needed it, as a homemaker who can’t seem to clean or keep things organized, as… Well, you get my point. I feel ineffective and irrelevant. Now I hear my writing also lacks relevance because it doesn’t have a “hook.”

Am I okay with that? I admit, I loved the buzz when a few hundred people read one of my posts. I started off sharing my heart and ended up blessing people I’ve never met. But I didn’t set out to become a famous writer. I just wanted to write for the pleasure of it. If one person walks away from a moment with me and feels uplifted, I’ve done something. Something relevant, perhaps?

With a new school year approaching, my daughter has been expressing concerns. She worries that people will make fun of her for a myriad of tiny concerns: there is a dancer on her shirt, she doesn’t run the fastest, she might have an “accident,” someone will know she sleeps with stuffed animals (coming from a girl whose mom still sleeps with a baby blanket, this is hardly a concern!). We spend a lot of time encouraging Meredith to ignore what people think, that what matters at the end of the day is that people remember Meredith is kind, she does nice things for others, and sticks up for anyone being picked on. Perhaps I need to swallow a bit of my own advice. I don’t need to be famous, Mr. Krugman. My blog simply needs to bless others.

Sink or Float

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I often wonder how I’m doing at this whole parenting gig. It’s not easy, we all admit that. Aside from our children’s outward behavior, there isn’t an easy indicator if we are doing anything right. Are we succeeding or failing, winning or losing, floating or sinking?

I’ve definitely been floating this week. I volunteered to teach the science discovery class at our church’s Vacation Bible School. With 70+ kids trying the hands-on experiments and learning from yours truly, I’ve felt a little supermom-ish. My oldest is so proud to have her mommy teach and loves being my little helper at home as we prepare. When she gazes at me with those wow-my-mom-is-so-cool looks, I can’t help but float.

But tonight was a little different. My little one had an -ahem- incident in the bathtub. A right of passage with our kids, apparently. When our older was about this age, same thing happened. One moment she was happily splashing in the water, the next minute I heard myself screaming “Help! There is POOP in the bathtub!!” And there I stood, motionless. Paralyzed until my Knight in Shining Clorox could race into the room and take control of the hazmat situation. You see, if there is one thing on earth I don’t handle, it’s poo. I can change my own child’s poopy diaper from necessity, but it ends there. I certainly do not clean poo from a bathtub.

I have paid the price in ridicule for five long years. My husband loves to laugh at the vision of me, standing over the tub with a big poo floating past our clean baby girl. Ha. Ha. Ha. Not my best moment. Sink.

It got me again tonight. The little one was happily splashing in the tub with her new (fatal flaw #1) bath toys, a gift from my mom. I turned away (fatal flaw #2) to grab my camera. I wanted to capture the moment. When I heard the tell-tale little grunts, I whipped my head back around fast enough to cause whiplash. Since my husband was not yet home, I instinctively knew there was no use in yelling for help. I grabbed the baby, confused, yet happy to waddle down the hall dripping wet, and did what any other clear-headed mother would do in this situation. I called her sister in to see. We giggled and promised to NEVER make fun of the little one for this. Then I took that camera in my hand, snapped a picture, and sent a one-word text to my poo-cleaning husband. “Hurry!” Sink.

Once I had composed myself, we walked to the other bathroom where we both showered to wash away all thoughts of the icky incident. The poo? We left it as-is until her daddy could clean it up. Float!

DCA to SAP

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One non-refundable ticket purchased. Washington Reagan (DCA) to San Pedro Sula (SAP).
I’m going. I’m going! I AM GOING!!!

This fall, I am traveling to Honduras with a small group from my church! We will serve at Heart to Heart Children’s Village (www.h2hcv.org), a home and school to about 90 children and youth, ages 2-20. The children come from the streets, undernourished, abused, and unloved; H2H changes their lives by raising them in a Christ-centered family atmosphere. It is my heart’s desire to spend time with these children, serve them tirelessly, and pour love upon them, though I have been warned it will be me who receives from their abundant goodness.

Christ called us to go into the world and share His love. I believe that when we serve and care for the “fatherless and the widow” as He commanded us, He is able to minister to us in our own brokenness. You already know I feel called to go. I want you, also, to be present and active in this work if you desire, so I plan to share the journey here, on my blog.

Please join my friends and me in praying for our group as we prepare for and embark on this trip. Let me know if you want to join my prayer team so I can count on you and pray for you, also.

Current/ongoing prayer needs:
– complete healing for my shoulder and knee to be prepared for the physical demands.
– that I am able to raise the balance of the $1,600 financial requirement for the trip. (If you want to participate financially, let me know. It would help tremendously!)
– for one more person to feel called and empowered to join our group. (Is it you?)

I am thankful to all those who will take this journey with me. I truly believe that through this experience of blessing others, God will bless us in ways we never expected!

Tow Truck Date Night

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My husband and I went on a date last week! With little ones at home, we use up most of our “date nights” at required functions for business, school, and church. A night on the town for just the two of us is a rare treat. This night was no exception. We drove through the city, felt the late night urban buzz, and saw the monuments by moonlight. Odd that this evening, like many of the special times he and I have shared, also included a tow truck driver.

Earlier in the day, my husband’s beloved 10 year old Jag overheated. Summers on the East coast are brutal, with the regular forecast being “hazy, hot, and humid.” It’s all a person can do to not melt into a puddle of sweat by 9:00 am. The 100+ degree heat indices take their toll on everyone and everything, including cars. Especially older cars, something for which my guy has a fondness. Like a child who reaches out to wounded animals, he is drawn to cars that need TLC. At least this Jaguar, his “impractical sculpture,” is in far batter condition and looks nice compared to some of the others he has loved.

When we met in college, he parked his old grey Cougar next to my shiny red Honda with its stick shift and bucket seats. He loved to whip around our little university town in his automatic car with the American engineering. I loathed that boat and offered to drive my zippy little Japanese car at every opportunity.

By the time we made the crazy love-fool decision to spend a summer driving cross-country, we “upgraded” to his father’s ’84 Grand Marquis. This twenty-year old monstrosity bore the scars from the acid rain crisis, with peeling grey paint across the hood, roof, and trunk. But it worked and had a cavernous trunk to hold all our belongings for an 8-week adventure. In fact, it worked quite well until we hit the Pacific Coast Highway 40 miles south of Tijuana, Mexico. That’s when it just kind-of stopped along the highway. Well, not kind-of. It stopped. Dead. We flagged down a tow truck driver who, though already burdened with another couple of unprepared gringos, jump-started the “Merc” and suggested we head back north to the US border. We heeded his advice and drove away, laughing at the silly Americans who needed a tow truck in Mexico!

Yes, those silly Americans. Just. Like. Us. We spent a long, terrifying day fighting a dead alternator in a foreign country. Every time we used power in the car, the battery died hard and fast. Turn signals. Power window controls. Brake lights. It all drained the battery, requiring us to throw the car in neutral and rev the engine, hoping to restart the car without requiring a jump. Soon enough, all that revving also drained the gasoline, causing the gas level indicator to light up. Lights, power, dead battery again. After more than 16 kindly folks along the highway jump-started our dead battery, we limped to the US border, but not before the Merc gave one last shudder and died. In Mexico. We literally pushed the car across the border into our homeland where we could call AAA and a tow truck driver.

Fast forward many years (and several more tow trucks) to a Jag on the outskirts of the city, waiting for its own ride. I headed downtown to retrieve my husband from a very long, frustrating day. The tow truck driver didn’t know his way around the city, so we had to meet in a nearby town and lead him back, caravan-style. As he carefully pulled the Jag onto the flatbed, I watched my husband in amazement. Exhausted, disappointed, beaten, but never defeated or cross, he amicably chatted with his new pal, one of dozens over the years. Then he climbed into my trusty Japanese minivan. We drove home from our impromptu date night, laughing and retelling our many car stories. One more adventure under our belts, one more tow truck story for the rosters, one more evening spent with my best friend, learning to face life with grace and laughter. Now that was a great date!

Prayer, Faith, and Fissures

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I have been given the humbling opportunity to pray for a dear friend. She is in her mid-thirties, raising two adorably spunky toddlers, and fighting stage IV melanoma. A stupid mole on her leg got out of control and is trying to steal her life. She is a fighter and so incredibly brave. When she writes about life, her condition, her adoring husband, she is honest, witty, and full of a richness of faith I wish I had.

Last week, I recieved a late night text from our friend-in-common, asking me to pray NOW. Our cancer-fighter was going into an MRI, again, to determine if the disease had infiltrated her brain. The claustrophobia-inducing procedure itself was enough to strike fear into this young woman. But to go in, knowing the results would dictate her life, was beyond what a mother should bear.

Of course I would pray! Pour peace and calm over her. Claim healing. Praise God for His presence. Lift up her husband and family for comfort and renewed faith. Beg God to be merciful and save her life. Down on my knees, I pleaded with the God of the universe to save her, to spare her children the loss of their mother, to rescue this family from death. There was no doubt in my mind He is able. And that night, He did.

“Clean brain scan!!” was the message we recieved an hour later. He did it! He answered the prayers of hundreds of righteous souls, prayer warriors around the world who claimed healing for one woman.

But … Why was I so surprised? What was this doubt creeping in when I should be celebrating answered prayer? What is it about faith that leaves room for doubt?

faith [noun]: complete trust or confidence in someone or something

Complete? Mine is not. I want it to be. I want to banish that tiny seed of doubt, the whisper of lies that say my prayers are not enough. Not enough to call down the power of the Almighty.

I believe Jesus walked on this earth, healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, and conquered death. I have faith He still heals and performs miracles today, even though we don’t pay much attention. I believe He told us, “…if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.” (Matthew 17:20). He wants us to bravely perform miracles, too. Through faith in Him. Complete faith.

Yes, I have faith larger than a mustard seed, but I’m afraid there is a crack in it, a fissure as wide as a canyon. How dare I pray for this friend, for others who ask or need it, or even for myself if there is doubt in my faith?? Can I confidently pray for my own cracked faith to be made complete? Can I humbly kneel before God, lay down my imperfections, and ask Him to prove me and my doubts wrong? Despite the fissures, I honestly believe I can and He will. And when He fills that canyon with Truth, it’ll be a mountain of a move.